| Process and SurvivalOn October 30, 2004, I | | | | discharge nurse. A nice lady with a friendly |
| will mark an anniversary of sorts. On this | | | | smile as she spoke about chemo protocols that |
| date a year ago, my life changed | | | | I'd be starting in three weeks, all of which |
| dramatically. I remember small details like | | | | would cause loss of hair, eyelashes and |
| the doctor's matter-of-fact voice discussing | | | | eyebrows. I cried. I felt so compromised, so |
| major surgery, chemotherapy, losing my hair. | | | | vulnerable and SO ANGRY! Picture an armful of |
| I remember the "dear-in-the-headlights" look | | | | IV's shaking a fist at the sky. Looking back, |
| on my husband's face, a look probably | | | | I think finally getting angry and crying was |
| mirrored in my own face. I remember the day | | | | good for me. After all, this wasn't fair, I |
| was beautiful, warm and sunny. I don't | | | | didn't deserve this and the whole thing was |
| remember much of my drive back out to work or | | | | overwhelming!The next day was a little |
| exactly how I told my co-workers that I | | | | brighter. I went back to listening to my |
| scheduled for surgery in approximately three | | | | tapes, practicing my meditation and using the |
| weeks for what was, almost certainly, | | | | techniques that Sabrina and John had taught |
| advanced ovarian cancer. I've been asked to | | | | me for pain and stress relief. The CT scan |
| share some of the things that I found and did | | | | was negative. No blood clots. My body was |
| that helped me on this journey that began | | | | just redistributing fluids. I increased my |
| almost a year ago.My first reaction was | | | | walks around the halls and the swelling |
| probably pretty standard - DENIAL- "This | | | | started to dissipate. The pathology report |
| can't be happening to me. I'm healthy. I eat | | | | showed, to the surgeon's surprise, that there |
| right. I exercise." Then came -ANGER. I had | | | | was no lymph node involvement! I felt like I |
| just had a complete physical with my doctor | | | | had gotten an A+. And, after 10 days of |
| (which included the OB-Gyn exam) on August | | | | hospitalization, I was going home.That first |
| 28th. I had been complaining to her for | | | | breath of fresh air was heaven! San Francisco |
| months about bloating, increased waist size, | | | | was at it's prettiest-clear blue sky, warm |
| and fullness. But she had assured me that | | | | sun on my face and a cool breeze caressing my |
| everything was fine and that my exam was | | | | cheeks and tousling my hair. My brother |
| normal. (How could she have missed a tumor | | | | carefully loaded me and my pillow into his |
| the size of my fist?) -FEAR followed anger. I | | | | car and I was, thankfully, on my way home.My |
| have never had surgery. Chemotherapy? A | | | | husband, sister Nance and my mom welcomed me |
| nightmare! I don't want to be sick. I don't | | | | with a clean house, lots of tasty treats and |
| want to lose my hair! What about work, my | | | | loving arms. My sister, Laurie, would arrive |
| family, my LIFE?Fear can be a great | | | | in a few days. The house would be decorated |
| motivator. It motivated me to learn as much | | | | for Christmas and I was preparing to embark |
| as I could about ovarian cancer, the surgery, | | | | on phase 2, recovery from surgery and |
| the chemotherapy protocols and the newest | | | | starting chemotherapy.The second part of the |
| treatments and clinical studies. Surgery was | | | | story will be published in a future |
| scheduled for November 24th, two days before | | | | newsletter. It describes the chemotherapy, |
| Thanksgiving. In the three weeks prior to | | | | finding clinical studies, complimentary |
| surgery, I organized my work load in my | | | | approaches to beating ovarian cancer that |
| department in preparation for being gone for | | | | have been work for Barbara.Ovarian Cancer: a |
| 6-8 weeks. I spent hours gleaning information | | | | not so silent killerOvarian cancer has long |
| from the internet and library. I turned to | | | | been considered difficult to detect with |
| friends and family for support and positive | | | | vague symptoms that look like other |
| energy through prayer and visualization. With | | | | conditions such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome |
| the help of my husband and a very dear | | | | and PMS. I had been experiencing bloating, |
| friend, Sabrina, I started preparing for the | | | | gas, fullness, and urinary tract problems for |
| surgery. We made pre and post operative tapes | | | | several months. I complained to my doctor. |
| for stress relief (anxiety control), | | | | She suggested dietary changes but never did |
| relaxation, pain relief, and healing. I | | | | any follow up testing on me. A simple blood |
| practiced visualizing an uneventful, no | | | | test called CA-125 would have alerted her to |
| complications, very successful surgery with | | | | the problem before it had advanced to Stage |
| minimal post-op discomfort and rapid | | | | III. An elevated CA-125 (above 35) is |
| recovery. My daily meditations included | | | | indicative of ovarian cancer, especially in |
| messages of self-healing and images of my | | | | conjunction with the other symptoms I had. |
| powerful immune system already fighting and | | | | New research points to a clear sign of the |
| destroying the cancer cells. I continued to | | | | disease: the presence of three specific |
| exercise and, in fact, went to my favorite | | | | symptoms simultaneously- increased waist |
| exercise class the day before surgery. | | | | size, bloating or gas, and the urgent need to |
| Exercise has played a very important part in | | | | urinate. Since my diagnosis, several friends |
| my recovery from surgery and chemo. I went | | | | and my sister have requested that their |
| into surgery feeling stronger, mentally and | | | | doctors do a baseline CA-125, especially, if |
| physically, almost as if I'd been preparing | | | | they had symptoms of gas or bloating. |
| for a marathon. In addition to increased | | | | Fortunately, they are fine. I urge you to do |
| exercise that included walking, step class, | | | | research, get information and if you have any |
| and weight training, I increased my vitamin | | | | symptoms or concerns, talk to your doctor and |
| intake to boost my immune system and energy | | | | be assertive about what you want.Vitamin and |
| levels. And just like an athlete preparing | | | | supplements that Barbara researched and used |
| for an event, I endeavored to prepare myself | | | | in her fight with ovarian cancer, Phase I.The |
| emotionally and spiritually. "I feel myself | | | | following is a list of vitamin and |
| strong, healthy and completely cancer free, | | | | supplements that I took to prepare for |
| now and forever," became, and still is, my | | | | surgery and to speed post-operative |
| mantra. I gathered all the good wishes and | | | | healing.Vitamin A: 25,000 IU daily- numerous |
| positive healing energy from friends and | | | | studies have shown the beneficial effects of |
| family like a cloak around me. I worked very | | | | Vit.A on healing after surgery.Vitamin C: |
| hard at controlling my fears about the | | | | 2,000 mg per day- essential for collagen |
| surgery, chemo and my future instead of | | | | synthesis which is part of normal wound |
| letting the fears control me!The morning of | | | | healing.Zinc, magnesium, B Complex: wound |
| November 24th dawned clear and cold. Six AM | | | | healingVitamin E: speeds healingHomeopathy: |
| found John and I on our way to UCSF to check | | | | |
| in for surgery. I remember feeling somewhat | | | | Arnica montana 30x, 3-4 pellets twice per |
| disconnected to what was happening, | | | | day on the day before surgery and also as |
| surrounded by a sense of unreality. "I should | | | | soon before surgery as possible. Then take |
| be getting ready for work and shopping for | | | | them as soon as possible in the recovery |
| Thanksgiving and decorating the house." | | | | room. Take for 1 week following surgery. |
| Instead, we are speeding toward a big | | | | Arnica is very good at preventing ill effects |
| unknown. I practiced some "grounding" and | | | | from any kind of physical trauma. Refer to: |
| "centering" techniques that Sabrina had | | | | Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christine |
| taught me and kept deep breathing whenever | | | | Northrup, MD for further information about |
| the "nervous butterflies" fluttered around | | | | these and other supplements. She also has a |
| inside of me.Checking in went smoothly. In my | | | | script example of four healing statements for |
| meeting with the anesthesiologist, I | | | | the surgeon and anesthesiologist that I |
| requested that he follow a script I had | | | | requested they say to me during my |
| written up for him to use while talking to me | | | | operation.I also took Cat's Claw. I found |
| during the surgery. The script had messages | | | | information about this herb on the internet |
| like: "Everything is going smoothly, | | | | and started taking it as soon as I was |
| Barbara," you'll wake up feeling minimal | | | | diagnosed. I continue to take it daily. Cat's |
| discomfort," You'll have a speedy recovery | | | | Claw is indigenous to the Amazon rainforest |
| and nor complication." He agreed to my | | | | and other tropical areas of South and Central |
| request and I was off to surgery.The next few | | | | America. It has been used for over 2,000 |
| days are a blur, as I was in and out of | | | | years by indigenous peoples for a variety of |
| sedation and on pain medication. A few | | | | conditions including wound healing, cancer, |
| memories do stand out- many, many beautiful | | | | internal cleansing, and "normalizing" the |
| flowers being delivered, gentle hands and | | | | body. It has been used in Europe and Peru |
| voices taking care of and reassuring me; the | | | | since the early 1990's as an adjunctive |
| faces of my loved ones looking stunned and | | | | treatment for cancer and AIDs as well as |
| scared. I must have appeared pretty scary | | | | other diseases that target the immune |
| with tubes and IV's everywhere! All seemed to | | | | system.A good information website for further |
| be progressing smoothly until three days | | | | research: Raintree Nutrition-Tropical Plant |
| before my discharge. I was alert and moving | | | | Database.Link to Part III used the guided |
| around my room, sitting in the chair, and | | | | relaxations/visualizations CD's from the |
| walking the hallways. And I experienced my | | | | Stress Education 1. #209 Stress Management |
| worst day! Up until that time and for what | | | | for Pre and Post-op Survival |
| seemed like for weeks, I'd been consciously | | | | |
| putting on a good, strong, positive front. My | | | | 2. #208 Stress Management for |
| theory was that the more positive energy | | | | HealingReference: |
| would be reflected back to me in the form of: | | | | |
| "It wasn't cancer, but just a benign cyst. | | | | Health Update from SELF Magazine by Jennifer |
| Well, it is cancer, but we caught it early. | | | | Nelson November, 2004 |
| The surgery will go great, and I'll recover | | | | |
| quickly. I'll get back to my regular life!" | | | | Ovarian cancer: a not-so-silent killer"Early |
| That day started with a visit from my | | | | diagnosis is crucial. When disease is caught |
| surgeon. She said I had had Stage IIIc | | | | before it spreads, 80 percent of women will |
| ovarian cancer and she did not know if there | | | | survive."by Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN and L. |
| was lymph node involvement. She was waiting | | | | John Mason, Ph.D.Look for Part II .... If you |
| for the report. She said a discharge nurse | | | | wish more information.Stress Education Center |
| would be by to discuss chemo, wound care and | | | | (707) 795-2228 website: John Mason, Ph.D. is |
| at home follow-up. In her exam, the doctor | | | | the author of the best selling "Guide to |
| found that my left leg was very swollen and | | | | Stress Reduction." Since 1977, he has offered |
| she was sending me to have a CT Scan to rule | | | | Executive Coaching and Training. His wife, |
| out a blood clot. Also, my wound was infected | | | | Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN, was diagnosed with |
| in one area. She removed a few staples and | | | | Ovarian Cancer in October, 2003. More |
| started me on IV antibiotics. The staple | | | | information will save more women. Get your |
| removal procedure was very painful and I | | | | CA-125 blood test as early as possible if you |
| cried. Getting in and out of the wheelchair | | | | have any question about whether you have |
| and up and down off the table for the CT scan | | | | Ovarian Cancer.Please visit the Stress |
| was painful and I cried. Looking down at my | | | | Education Center's website at for articles, |
| 13 inch abdominal wound which was stapled | | | | free ezine signup, and learn about the new |
| except for a 3 inch open area and seeing my | | | | telecourses that are available.Please take |
| swollen to "twice it's size" left leg made me | | | | good care of yourself! |
| cry. And then there was the visit with the | | | | |