| Process and SurvivalOn October 30, 2004, I will | | | | swollen to "twice it's size" left leg made me cry. |
| mark an anniversary of sorts. On this date a year | | | | And then there was the visit with the discharge |
| ago, my life changed dramatically. I remember | | | | nurse. A nice lady with a friendly smile as she |
| small details like the doctor's matter-of-fact voice | | | | spoke about chemo protocols that I'd be starting |
| discussing major surgery, chemotherapy, losing | | | | in three weeks, all of which would cause loss of |
| my hair. I remember the "dear-in-the-headlights" | | | | hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. I cried. I felt so |
| look on my husband's face, a look probably | | | | compromised, so vulnerable and SO ANGRY! |
| mirrored in my own face. I remember the day | | | | Picture an armful of IV's shaking a fist at the sky. |
| was beautiful, warm and sunny. I don't remember | | | | Looking back, I think finally getting angry and |
| much of my drive back out to work or exactly | | | | crying was good for me. After all, this wasn't fair, |
| how I told my co-workers that I scheduled for | | | | I didn't deserve this and the whole thing was |
| surgery in approximately three weeks for what | | | | overwhelming!The next day was a little brighter. I |
| was, almost certainly, advanced ovarian cancer. | | | | went back to listening to my tapes, practicing my |
| I've been asked to share some of the things that | | | | meditation and using the techniques that Sabrina |
| I found and did that helped me on this journey | | | | and John had taught me for pain and stress relief. |
| that began almost a year ago.My first reaction | | | | The CT scan was negative. No blood clots. My |
| was probably pretty standard - DENIAL- "This | | | | body was just redistributing fluids. I increased my |
| can't be happening to me. I'm healthy. I eat right. I | | | | walks around the halls and the swelling started to |
| exercise." Then came -ANGER. I had just had a | | | | dissipate. The pathology report showed, to the |
| complete physical with my doctor (which included | | | | surgeon's surprise, that there was no lymph node |
| the OB-Gyn exam) on August 28th. I had been | | | | involvement! I felt like I had gotten an A+. And, |
| complaining to her for months about bloating, | | | | after 10 days of hospitalization, I was going |
| increased waist size, and fullness. But she had | | | | home.That first breath of fresh air was heaven! |
| assured me that everything was fine and that | | | | San Francisco was at it's prettiest-clear blue sky, |
| my exam was normal. (How could she have | | | | warm sun on my face and a cool breeze |
| missed a tumor the size of my fist?) -FEAR | | | | caressing my cheeks and tousling my hair. My |
| followed anger. I have never had surgery. | | | | brother carefully loaded me and my pillow into his |
| Chemotherapy? A nightmare! I don't want to be | | | | car and I was, thankfully, on my way home.My |
| sick. I don't want to lose my hair! What about | | | | husband, sister Nance and my mom welcomed |
| work, my family, my LIFE?Fear can be a great | | | | me with a clean house, lots of tasty treats and |
| motivator. It motivated me to learn as much as I | | | | loving arms. My sister, Laurie, would arrive in a |
| could about ovarian cancer, the surgery, the | | | | few days. The house would be decorated for |
| chemotherapy protocols and the newest | | | | Christmas and I was preparing to embark on |
| treatments and clinical studies. Surgery was | | | | phase 2, recovery from surgery and starting |
| scheduled for November 24th, two days before | | | | chemotherapy.The second part of the story will |
| Thanksgiving. In the three weeks prior to surgery, | | | | be published in a future newsletter. It describes |
| I organized my work load in my department in | | | | the chemotherapy, finding clinical studies, |
| preparation for being gone for 6-8 weeks. I spent | | | | complimentary approaches to beating ovarian |
| hours gleaning information from the internet and | | | | cancer that have been work for Barbara.Ovarian |
| library. I turned to friends and family for support | | | | Cancer: a not so silent killerOvarian cancer has |
| and positive energy through prayer and | | | | long been considered difficult to detect with vague |
| visualization. With the help of my husband and a | | | | symptoms that look like other conditions such as |
| very dear friend, Sabrina, I started preparing for | | | | Irritable Bowel Syndrome and PMS. I had been |
| the surgery. We made pre and post operative | | | | experiencing bloating, gas, fullness, and urinary |
| tapes for stress relief (anxiety control), relaxation, | | | | tract problems for several months. I complained |
| pain relief, and healing. I practiced visualizing an | | | | to my doctor. She suggested dietary changes but |
| uneventful, no complications, very successful | | | | never did any follow up testing on me. A simple |
| surgery with minimal post-op discomfort and rapid | | | | blood test called CA-125 would have alerted her |
| recovery. My daily meditations included messages | | | | to the problem before it had advanced to Stage |
| of self-healing and images of my powerful | | | | III. An elevated CA-125 (above 35) is indicative of |
| immune system already fighting and destroying | | | | ovarian cancer, especially in conjunction with the |
| the cancer cells. I continued to exercise and, in | | | | other symptoms I had. New research points to a |
| fact, went to my favorite exercise class the day | | | | clear sign of the disease: the presence of three |
| before surgery. Exercise has played a very | | | | specific symptoms simultaneously- increased waist |
| important part in my recovery from surgery and | | | | size, bloating or gas, and the urgent need to |
| chemo. I went into surgery feeling stronger, | | | | urinate. Since my diagnosis, several friends and |
| mentally and physically, almost as if I'd been | | | | my sister have requested that their doctors do a |
| preparing for a marathon. In addition to increased | | | | baseline CA-125, especially, if they had symptoms |
| exercise that included walking, step class, and | | | | of gas or bloating. Fortunately, they are fine. I |
| weight training, I increased my vitamin intake to | | | | urge you to do research, get information and if |
| boost my immune system and energy levels. And | | | | you have any symptoms or concerns, talk to |
| just like an athlete preparing for an event, I | | | | your doctor and be assertive about what you |
| endeavored to prepare myself emotionally and | | | | want.Vitamin and supplements that Barbara |
| spiritually. "I feel myself strong, healthy and | | | | researched and used in her fight with ovarian |
| completely cancer free, now and forever," | | | | cancer, Phase I.The following is a list of vitamin |
| became, and still is, my mantra. I gathered all the | | | | and supplements that I took to prepare for |
| good wishes and positive healing energy from | | | | surgery and to speed post-operative |
| friends and family like a cloak around me. I | | | | healing.Vitamin A: 25,000 IU daily- numerous |
| worked very hard at controlling my fears about | | | | studies have shown the beneficial effects of Vit.A |
| the surgery, chemo and my future instead of | | | | on healing after surgery.Vitamin C: 2,000 mg per |
| letting the fears control me!The morning of | | | | day- essential for collagen synthesis which is part |
| November 24th dawned clear and cold. Six AM | | | | of normal wound healing.Zinc, magnesium, B |
| found John and I on our way to UCSF to check in | | | | Complex: wound healingVitamin E: speeds |
| for surgery. I remember feeling somewhat | | | | healingHomeopathy: |
| disconnected to what was happening, surrounded | | | | Arnica montana 30x, 3-4 pellets twice per day |
| by a sense of unreality. "I should be getting ready | | | | on the day before surgery and also as soon |
| for work and shopping for Thanksgiving and | | | | before surgery as possible. Then take them as |
| decorating the house." Instead, we are speeding | | | | soon as possible in the recovery room. Take for |
| toward a big unknown. I practiced some | | | | 1 week following surgery. Arnica is very good at |
| "grounding" and "centering" techniques that Sabrina | | | | preventing ill effects from any kind of physical |
| had taught me and kept deep breathing | | | | trauma. Refer to: Women's Bodies, Women's |
| whenever the "nervous butterflies" fluttered | | | | Wisdom by Christine Northrup, MD for further |
| around inside of me.Checking in went smoothly. In | | | | information about these and other supplements. |
| my meeting with the anesthesiologist, I requested | | | | She also has a script example of four healing |
| that he follow a script I had written up for him to | | | | statements for the surgeon and anesthesiologist |
| use while talking to me during the surgery. The | | | | that I requested they say to me during my |
| script had messages like: "Everything is going | | | | operation.I also took Cat's Claw. I found |
| smoothly, Barbara," you'll wake up feeling minimal | | | | information about this herb on the internet and |
| discomfort," You'll have a speedy recovery and | | | | started taking it as soon as I was diagnosed. I |
| nor complication." He agreed to my request and I | | | | continue to take it daily. Cat's Claw is indigenous |
| was off to surgery.The next few days are a blur, | | | | to the Amazon rainforest and other tropical areas |
| as I was in and out of sedation and on pain | | | | of South and Central America. It has been used |
| medication. A few memories do stand out- many, | | | | for over 2,000 years by indigenous peoples for a |
| many beautiful flowers being delivered, gentle | | | | variety of conditions including wound healing, |
| hands and voices taking care of and reassuring | | | | cancer, internal cleansing, and "normalizing" the |
| me; the faces of my loved ones looking stunned | | | | body. It has been used in Europe and Peru since |
| and scared. I must have appeared pretty scary | | | | the early 1990's as an adjunctive treatment for |
| with tubes and IV's everywhere! All seemed to | | | | cancer and AIDs as well as other diseases that |
| be progressing smoothly until three days before | | | | target the immune system.A good information |
| my discharge. I was alert and moving around my | | | | website for further research: Raintree |
| room, sitting in the chair, and walking the hallways. | | | | Nutrition-Tropical Plant Database.Link to Part III |
| And I experienced my worst day! Up until that | | | | used the guided relaxations/visualizations CD's |
| time and for what seemed like for weeks, I'd | | | | from the Stress Education 1. #209 Stress |
| been consciously putting on a good, strong, | | | | Management for Pre and Post-op Survival |
| positive front. My theory was that the more | | | | 2. #208 Stress Management for |
| positive energy would be reflected back to me in | | | | HealingReference: |
| the form of: "It wasn't cancer, but just a benign | | | | Health Update from SELF Magazine by Jennifer |
| cyst. Well, it is cancer, but we caught it early. The | | | | Nelson November, 2004 |
| surgery will go great, and I'll recover quickly. I'll get | | | | Ovarian cancer: a not-so-silent killer"Early diagnosis |
| back to my regular life!" That day started with a | | | | is crucial. When disease is caught before it |
| visit from my surgeon. She said I had had Stage | | | | spreads, 80 percent of women will survive."by |
| IIIc ovarian cancer and she did not know if there | | | | Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN and L. John Mason, |
| was lymph node involvement. She was waiting for | | | | Ph.D.Look for Part II .... If you wish more |
| the report. She said a discharge nurse would be | | | | information.Stress Education Center (707) |
| by to discuss chemo, wound care and at home | | | | 795-2228 website: John Mason, Ph.D. is the author |
| follow-up. In her exam, the doctor found that my | | | | of the best selling "Guide to Stress Reduction." |
| left leg was very swollen and she was sending | | | | Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching |
| me to have a CT Scan to rule out a blood clot. | | | | and Training. His wife, Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN, |
| Also, my wound was infected in one area. She | | | | was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in October, |
| removed a few staples and started me on IV | | | | 2003. More information will save more women. |
| antibiotics. The staple removal procedure was | | | | Get your CA-125 blood test as early as possible if |
| very painful and I cried. Getting in and out of the | | | | you have any question about whether you have |
| wheelchair and up and down off the table for the | | | | Ovarian Cancer.Please visit the Stress Education |
| CT scan was painful and I cried. Looking down at | | | | Center's website at for articles, free ezine signup, |
| my 13 inch abdominal wound which was stapled | | | | and learn about the new telecourses that are |
| except for a 3 inch open area and seeing my | | | | available.Please take good care of yourself! |